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The Boy Who Rhymed Purple
From Shakespeare to Wordsworth, from Lewis Carrol to John Lennon/Cole Porter/Snoop Dogg/Kanye West, no poet/rapper/songsmith has ever rhymed “purple”.
Not even Prince. (Who had plenty of opportunities!)
To rhyme “purple” has been deemed impossible, since the Elizabethan age. Shakespeare had thought it impossible. As did, in their times, Wordsworth, Shelly, Byron, ∞.
In fact no wordsmith in the history of mankind has ever rhymed “purple”.
Not even Dr. Seuss!
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When he was eight-years old, The President of Pop was informed of this bitter truth, as his teacher announced the impossibility of rhyming "purple" to his class.
(Spoiler Alert: The class had just been, by a fortuitous coincidence, studying birds.)
The wheels clicked and purred in The President of Pop's eight-year old mind. "Hmmmm."
Thus, upon hearing this mournful news echoing through the centuries, our intrepid hero, the eight year-old President of Pop, after a moment of thought, confidently raised his hand.
“Yes?” said his teacher.
“I can rhyme purple,” popped the President of Pop .
The P.o.P’s teacher smirked, “Oh, so you’re smarter than Shakespeare?”
“Yes”, replied the P.o.P., gushing sincerity from every corpuscle of his being.
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Then, as they often did in our petit P.o.P.'s life, things got ugly!
In the kerfuffle that followed, the (prodigious yet petit) President of Pop was sent to the principle’s office.
Parents were called; experts consulted; reports written, diagnoses made.
In summary, the (at the time très petit) President of Pop was told, in no uncertain terms: “Know your place, young man.”
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But do you know what really bugged the (then tiny) President of Pop? (And still does to this day!)
No one ever f***ing asked him what his rhyme for “purple” was.
Can’t schmant!
(F**king grownups.):
Can't Rhyme Purple
Lyrics
I am the President
The President of Pop
You might want what I have
But I’m the one on top
And like the Emperor of Pop
I wear the colour purple
And if that don’t make you envy me,
Then surely my chirp’ll
(Fly)
Sometimes I fly like a bird
Oh yeah
(Fly)
Sometimes I fly like a bird
Oh yeah
Hey hey hey hey
They say you can’t rhyme purple
Hey hey no way
(Hey)
I’ve proved it’s not true
Careful or your teachers
Convincing chirp’ll
Convince you
You can’t do
What you can really do
Oooh
So that’s my lesson
(Yo)
That’s my story
But I don’t want to fly away in a cloud
Of my own glory
I’d rather take this lesson
And fly it to the sky
You can live out your dreams
If you fly
Just try
(Fly)
Try try
Try ‘til the day you die
Try try
To touch the sky
(Fly)
Try try
Try ‘til the day you die
Try try
To touch the sky